Post by skye on Sept 4, 2010 23:08:04 GMT -6
These are some of my favorite funny quotes at the moment. Feel free to add your own.
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow children to come back home." --Mary Karr
"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." -- Mark Twain
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ..." - Louis Hector Berlioz
"All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening."
Alexander Woollcott
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
Woody Allen
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality." --Clifton Fadiman
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."--Pearl Williams
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."--Lyndon B. Johnson
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."--Dilbert
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow children to come back home." --Mary Karr
"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." -- Mark Twain
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ..." - Louis Hector Berlioz
"All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening."
Alexander Woollcott
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
Woody Allen
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality." --Clifton Fadiman
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."--Pearl Williams
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."--Lyndon B. Johnson
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."--Dilbert
